How much I appreciate this post!!!! In music, I begin with lyrics - all my songs are from personal experience, or from those I love - even if it stems from a conversation, or thought, or moment.
Every single word is chosen with such care, to be sure it flows in my mind, in my music - ultimately - and then to be “commercial enough” to listen to. I abandoned the typical, the format, the regular, the conformity, the structure, the regular expectation…
I am beginning, my 1st song release was October 24, - 10 months on music, yet have written for 20 years in poetry and prose, have been published in 5 books - but it wasn’t what I thought would feel as success… I remember telling my publisher in 2019, Christmas, I am only writing lyrics now - he was supportive, with 30 years experience in the music industry. He said basically “show me” . Since April, I went independent, no more composer, no more singer recording my words, my lyrics, other than what I used to do, and use, It was not MY SOUND. I had to start again at zero…. I have done that before, I can do it again. I do believe that my work, and that my goal is to sell my lyrics, meanwhile, I have to produce EVERYTHING myself - and I love that control.
To advertise “ME” I have to record and produce everything myself, YAY, I had to learn how!
If you want to hear regular - verse, verse, chorus, bridge, verse- chorus stuff - don’t get that with me - i write how I sound. I have 3 x 5cm titanium implants ( zygomatic implants) in my face that hold my upper jaw and cheekbone in place - long story, but having your face- skull structure interfered with changes how you talk, how you sound, eat, everything… - I had to learn to talk all over again, 4 times - I lost all my teeth and roots, my jawbone shrank rapidly because I am so young, after each major surgery, my mouth was opened in my skull through the upper mouth plate… and I learned to talk again each time, I had teeth implants to replace what I had lost. I was a devastating experience in my 30’s to think, how will anyone kiss me, would they notice? That was the least of my worries..
I had to learn to speak again, and again, and again, after each major surgery…
I did that by singing. My mouth had a new structure - not floating as the jaw does, or TMJ does, mine was now kept in a permanent position, unnatural to how the joints in your mouth- face move to talk.
My music is written, as I experience how I naturally sound - with repetition of a word, and I love that SIGNATURE I HAVE independently, to a REGULAR structure. It’s been criticised that I don’t have a consistent note to carry - I don’t do that, I DO ME! I repeat a word for emphasis, and I love that I discovered my own SIGNATURE WAY TO WRITE AND SOUND!
I have been on this music journey a long time, I’m still a baby learning to crawl, Eventually I’ll be walking… and far ahead of anyone because no one has had my experience, my body, my speech, my way, my history, my experience of having my whole face restructured by titanium implants. I sound different, at 1st I grieved, I lost what was regular as me, and then, I taught myself… by singing, to talk.
My lyrics are so independent - I don’t conform to the regular - go somewhere else if you want regular….
I am SUZANNE SIEBERT, Suzie, and this is part of my journey. It’s been cruel, it’s been devastating, it’s been growth and acceptance, and finally… its BEEN…. and I am NOW PROUDLY ME!! People comment on my vocals, but I am about my lyrics - yet I have to sell them… and this is how I start…
Thank you for your post, I would not have shared this with others unless I read this. With 20 years of writing in a journal in poetry and prose, and 20 years of surgery, then, 5 years more… that takes you to a deep, sometimes dark place. I climbed out of it.
Now, I write my lyrics and compose and now produce my own work, I can use my voice - a friend said to me yesterday that the way I speak now, in the last 10 months, has changed into sounding like a regular person - it’s a compliment, it’s been careful, its also been hard to hear. BUT I AM HERE.
I have been on a healing journey, through lyrics initially, until I could speak again, audibly, that I could be understood. Then I ditched a vocalist because I wanted MY SOUND. Yes, I lost everything, and I was warned, leave your publisher, leave your composer, you’ll lose everything, in that, all my followers, likes stopped, who cares, I’m a lyricist and composer and producer… not an algorithm. HERE I AM…I still can’t say “aminal” or “par cark”, it’s twisted in my brain to vocal pronunciation process, but I can WRITE, and really well! I can create sound, I can create musical arrangements, and vocally, currently, what you get is what you get.
Thanks again - here’s one of my recent releases, SHA SHA, BY SUZANNE SIEBERT
